Halifax Gentlemen's Poker Association 
Game Report 8/29/06
Location: The Upper Bowl of the MillerDome
Attendance: Neil, Bob, Alex, Miller, Tiger, EBOC, Speedbag, "Dirty" (friend of Miller), "Marchant" (another friend of Miller), "Steve" (yet another friend of Miller) and Some Guy Whose Name I Forget Who Was Always Smiling So I Will Call Him "Smiley" (who knew Miller had all these friends?!)
I personally didn't arrive until 9:20 p.m. to find a large group of people already fully entrenched in gambling, so forgive me for not recapping what was happening up until this point.
What I can tell you is that Bob had a huge amount of chips before him in a little something we all know and love called the Bob Wall. The one known as Dirty was wearing sunglasses which made me immediately suspicious of his sanity, but he also had a large amount of money in front of him so I guess they were working. The rest of the chips were kind of evenly spread around the table I think, with the exception of Speedbag who earned kudos for bringing my Bag of Holding for me but had yet suffered the same fate as last week by busting entirely out very early in the night.
With so many people, games were limited to Omaha, Hold 'Em & Guts (with no interest in Pineapple, it seems). Rounds took a long time because of all the talking and bet prodding, but slowly the game took shape.
Bob was dominating early and often, using his large stack to push people out of hands left & right, with people foolish enough to remain in to discover he actually had the cards in the end. Alex was sucking at the other end of the poker teet, as his luck could not have been worse had his butted in front of a leprechaun at the movies on Friday the 13th, as he was forced to fold almost everything that came before him.
EBOC played his usual "sure, why the fuck not" style, winning one hand but summarily losing several in a row, eventually busting out totally rather early in the night. Eric's luck was little better, as he was forced to rebuy several times, eventually culminating in another trip to a local ATM that henceforth shall be called "Eric's Trip" after the now defunct Haligonian alt-rock band of the same name.
Tiger played with typical caution and verve, and he and Bob were usually two of the last people battling over chips in the pots, with success both ways. Neil (yes, I am switching tenses) played cautiously as he was dealt mostly garbage cards for a long time and had no idea how the Miller Four played.
Dirty was a decent if not deliberate player who usually made the right calls based on pot odds and the like. Marchant seemed almost random with his play, he was very hard to get a read on but busted out midway through the night and was removed from the equation. Steve was somewhat haphazard which made him difficult to predict but he did make a couple of nice moves on hands after busting out a few times early. Smiley was by far the most entertaining as he was clearly a poker novice and was a good sport about everything. This factor grew exponentially after we shared some pot, to the surprise of no one.
After several large wins for Bob during Omaha and Hold 'Em, Dirty's stack shrunk and Bob's grew. Alex was deep in the red at this point, but Miller finally carved out a beachhead of chips. Tiger had some decent stacks of dollar chips, and seemed content to not risk them unecessarily. Steve's stack whittled away slowly, but Smiley seemed to occasionally win a hand, keeping his ability to call blinds intact.
A turning point of the night happened as Neil went all in three times in a row in Omaha and managed to quadruple, triple and double up respectively, turning his $4 stack into an impressive $100 or so in a matter of three hands. This also in turn cleaned out Bob in a sudden shocking move, as Neil's three 10s somehow survived numerous full house and flush draws in a nail-biting game of Omaha.
Alex's bad luck soon saw him bust out well down on the night, and the Crazy Games were officially afoot. Due to the influx of new members, the pace was slow as we had to explain the rules of each crazy game, but both Garbage Day, Pregnant Cows, Slaughterhouse and eBay were met with interest. Baseball, despite Bob's constant shilling, was not met with the best of receptions. Smiley then invented an unholy hybrid of Pregnant Cows and eBay which allowed Neil to relieve both Miller and Dirty of the last of their chips, and with a huge portion of the chips in front of Neil and the hour drawing near, the evening was called.
Big Winner: Neil, with a delicious +$130 off a single buy-in
Big Loser: Alex, who saw $50 do little for him over the night
Hot Streak: Neil's aforementioned insane 4x/3x/2x combo
Big Hand: Neil's three 10s somehow holding off two full house draws and two flush draws to the tune of about $70 in the pot
Another Huge Hand: Neil's five Aces schooling Dirty's five 5s and Eric's five 10s in a game of Pregnant eBay for a delightful $40 pot (made all the more amusing by the fact that Miller was all in from the get go and actually drew to five 10s without the aid of auction cards or betting & that Neil was forced to pay approx. $45 of his own stack to buy wildcards just so Dirty would not have them)
Strange Allegory of the Night: Bob's giant can of Old Milwaukee being compared to a dinosaur and his huge stack of chips in front of him compared to an electric fence keeping the can from killing us all.
Ironic Twist: Bob's revelation that two cans of this dinosaur-sized beer were "not getting the job done".
Science Content: Blushing is caused by confused state of mind acts upon the sympathetic nervous system. From there, the vasodilators are stimulated which causes the peripheral capillaries to expand. As a result, more blood flows to the surface of the face and neck, resulting in the reddening of the face and neck. Also, if you are Tiger, you apparently blush when you have good cards, according to Bob.
Good Idea of the Night: Bob suggesting that in games of Guts where nobody goes in, instead of just everyone tossing in another ante, the person with the highest hand has to pay the pot (aka, The Coward Penalty). *Subject to further HGPA ratification.
Quote of the Night: "Ooooh - snap! In yo' face, niggaz!" - The seemingly preppy Steve after busting caps into the asses of Dirty and Tiger in a three-way Gang War.
Other Quote of the Night: "Yeah, well, this is just how I operate, you see. - EBOC just before a patented EBOC Call of Justice with questionable cards that may or may not end up winning
Honorable Mention: "Man, I can't believe I am resorting to Harry Potter jokes." - Neil, after realizing he had just made a reference to Hogwart's as part of his never-ebbing nonsensical stream of pop-culture idiom.
Attendance: Neil, Bob, Alex, Miller, Tiger, EBOC, Speedbag, "Dirty" (friend of Miller), "Marchant" (another friend of Miller), "Steve" (yet another friend of Miller) and Some Guy Whose Name I Forget Who Was Always Smiling So I Will Call Him "Smiley" (who knew Miller had all these friends?!)
I personally didn't arrive until 9:20 p.m. to find a large group of people already fully entrenched in gambling, so forgive me for not recapping what was happening up until this point.
What I can tell you is that Bob had a huge amount of chips before him in a little something we all know and love called the Bob Wall. The one known as Dirty was wearing sunglasses which made me immediately suspicious of his sanity, but he also had a large amount of money in front of him so I guess they were working. The rest of the chips were kind of evenly spread around the table I think, with the exception of Speedbag who earned kudos for bringing my Bag of Holding for me but had yet suffered the same fate as last week by busting entirely out very early in the night.
With so many people, games were limited to Omaha, Hold 'Em & Guts (with no interest in Pineapple, it seems). Rounds took a long time because of all the talking and bet prodding, but slowly the game took shape.
Bob was dominating early and often, using his large stack to push people out of hands left & right, with people foolish enough to remain in to discover he actually had the cards in the end. Alex was sucking at the other end of the poker teet, as his luck could not have been worse had his butted in front of a leprechaun at the movies on Friday the 13th, as he was forced to fold almost everything that came before him.
EBOC played his usual "sure, why the fuck not" style, winning one hand but summarily losing several in a row, eventually busting out totally rather early in the night. Eric's luck was little better, as he was forced to rebuy several times, eventually culminating in another trip to a local ATM that henceforth shall be called "Eric's Trip" after the now defunct Haligonian alt-rock band of the same name.
Tiger played with typical caution and verve, and he and Bob were usually two of the last people battling over chips in the pots, with success both ways. Neil (yes, I am switching tenses) played cautiously as he was dealt mostly garbage cards for a long time and had no idea how the Miller Four played.
Dirty was a decent if not deliberate player who usually made the right calls based on pot odds and the like. Marchant seemed almost random with his play, he was very hard to get a read on but busted out midway through the night and was removed from the equation. Steve was somewhat haphazard which made him difficult to predict but he did make a couple of nice moves on hands after busting out a few times early. Smiley was by far the most entertaining as he was clearly a poker novice and was a good sport about everything. This factor grew exponentially after we shared some pot, to the surprise of no one.
After several large wins for Bob during Omaha and Hold 'Em, Dirty's stack shrunk and Bob's grew. Alex was deep in the red at this point, but Miller finally carved out a beachhead of chips. Tiger had some decent stacks of dollar chips, and seemed content to not risk them unecessarily. Steve's stack whittled away slowly, but Smiley seemed to occasionally win a hand, keeping his ability to call blinds intact.
A turning point of the night happened as Neil went all in three times in a row in Omaha and managed to quadruple, triple and double up respectively, turning his $4 stack into an impressive $100 or so in a matter of three hands. This also in turn cleaned out Bob in a sudden shocking move, as Neil's three 10s somehow survived numerous full house and flush draws in a nail-biting game of Omaha.
Alex's bad luck soon saw him bust out well down on the night, and the Crazy Games were officially afoot. Due to the influx of new members, the pace was slow as we had to explain the rules of each crazy game, but both Garbage Day, Pregnant Cows, Slaughterhouse and eBay were met with interest. Baseball, despite Bob's constant shilling, was not met with the best of receptions. Smiley then invented an unholy hybrid of Pregnant Cows and eBay which allowed Neil to relieve both Miller and Dirty of the last of their chips, and with a huge portion of the chips in front of Neil and the hour drawing near, the evening was called.
Big Winner: Neil, with a delicious +$130 off a single buy-in
Big Loser: Alex, who saw $50 do little for him over the night
Hot Streak: Neil's aforementioned insane 4x/3x/2x combo
Big Hand: Neil's three 10s somehow holding off two full house draws and two flush draws to the tune of about $70 in the pot
Another Huge Hand: Neil's five Aces schooling Dirty's five 5s and Eric's five 10s in a game of Pregnant eBay for a delightful $40 pot (made all the more amusing by the fact that Miller was all in from the get go and actually drew to five 10s without the aid of auction cards or betting & that Neil was forced to pay approx. $45 of his own stack to buy wildcards just so Dirty would not have them)
Strange Allegory of the Night: Bob's giant can of Old Milwaukee being compared to a dinosaur and his huge stack of chips in front of him compared to an electric fence keeping the can from killing us all.
Ironic Twist: Bob's revelation that two cans of this dinosaur-sized beer were "not getting the job done".
Science Content: Blushing is caused by confused state of mind acts upon the sympathetic nervous system. From there, the vasodilators are stimulated which causes the peripheral capillaries to expand. As a result, more blood flows to the surface of the face and neck, resulting in the reddening of the face and neck. Also, if you are Tiger, you apparently blush when you have good cards, according to Bob.
Good Idea of the Night: Bob suggesting that in games of Guts where nobody goes in, instead of just everyone tossing in another ante, the person with the highest hand has to pay the pot (aka, The Coward Penalty). *Subject to further HGPA ratification.
Quote of the Night: "Ooooh - snap! In yo' face, niggaz!" - The seemingly preppy Steve after busting caps into the asses of Dirty and Tiger in a three-way Gang War.
Other Quote of the Night: "Yeah, well, this is just how I operate, you see. - EBOC just before a patented EBOC Call of Justice with questionable cards that may or may not end up winning
Honorable Mention: "Man, I can't believe I am resorting to Harry Potter jokes." - Neil, after realizing he had just made a reference to Hogwart's as part of his never-ebbing nonsensical stream of pop-culture idiom.
posted by Neil | 4:37 PM
1 Comments:
I think we should start a bingo night and form the HGBA.
Seconded...?
Post a Comment
<< Home