Game Report 03/10/06

Location: Allan Street Poker Syndicate
Attendance: Neil, Chris, Drake, Miller, Alex, Carsten, Dirty, Smiley

I have almost no clear recollection of what happened last night thanks to my heroic intake of Jagermeister. I was so intoxicated that I am even having difficulty remembering what happened before I got smashed, which is never a good sign.

Anyways, the Coles Notes version:

Everyone came over and we started playing cards around 9:30 or so. Omaha and Hold 'Em, with some Guts in there as well. I dumped a significant amount of Jager onto myself and my chips, perhaps a desperate act of self-preservation vainly perpetrated my liver.

Smiley and Dirty appeared to have a lot of the chips, until Chris rocked Smiley with a clutch card on the river to nail quad 3s. Chris seemed to keep most of this money while myself, Eric and Carsten were soon sent back into our wallets.

At some point we busted Carsten out and played some stud and I lost a lot of money. Eric's Trip occured as Miller had to hit the ATM down the road. I got to the end stage of G.I. Joe on the MAME during one of the breaks. Alex cashed out around 12:30 a.m. and we started playing crazy games. Chris made up some game that confused everyone. I remember Gang War being played. A lot of money was in the middle and none of it came towards me.

We stopped playing at some point and everyone left. I woke up on my couch around dawn with a half-eaten pizza pocket on my chest, PBS blaring some special about the disapperance of wetlands and a disturbing gap in my recollection of what had occured over the previous few hours.

Big Winner: No idea, but Chris and Dirty seemed to have a lot of chips so I presume it's one of them.

Big Loser: Clearly me, with at least $60 and a large slice of my lifespan being lost.

Riverdance: Chris definitely should have done one when he rivered a magical 3 to hit quads over Smiley's full house for a game-shattering sized pot.

Science Content: Jägermeister is a strong (70-proof; 35%) liqueur flavored with herbs (similar to Danish stomach bitters such as Gammel Dansk, the Hungarian Unicum, or Czech liqueur Becherovka). The name Jägermeister comes from the German words Jäger and Meister meaning "master of the hunt" or "master hunter" in the sense of "expert" or "committed" hunter. Contrary to urban legends, Jägermeister contains neither deer blood nor opium. Also, this shit will get Neil fucking hammered out of his mind, esp. when swilled straight out of a glass.

Baseball Shocker: We actually played some even though Bob wasn't around to insist that we do.

Quote of the Night: Some joke I made about a guy sodomizing Chris delivered in the form of a golf analogy, but I can't for the life of me remember what the fuck I said. Everyone laughed for a bit, so I am guessing it was gangbusters, whatever it was.

Honorable Mention: "I have a right to hate whoever the fuck I want." - Drake reasserting his cheery demeanor after I had commented that he had a right to hate people he had previously lived with.